Parshas Bereishis #2-Admit your mistakes!
Parshas Bereishis 5782: No more excuses!
Torah Psych101
Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson
Why does Hashem ask questions that he already knows the answers to? He asks Adam, where are you? He asks Chava, what did you do? He asks Kayin, where is your brother? I find myself asking my clients and sometimes my children questions that I already know the answer to. Why do I do that?
I believe that the answer to this question is the power of admission of guilt. Of course, Hashem knew where everyone was and what they did wrong. However, it is far more powerful for the person who committed the wrong, to admit their wrongdoing, than to have someone else point out their wrongdoing. Even when we hear the responses of Adam, Chava an Kayin, they attempt to defend their position and then they admit their guilt. This is a direct question from God. Think about how many excuses and defenses we come up with when we are confronted by our parents, spouses, children etc., about mistakes we have made.
I want to focus on Chava’s response. When Hashem asks her what she has done, she responds:
הנחש השיאני ואכל
“The snake tricked me. And I ate.” (1)
The Ohr Hachaim reiterates the idea mentioned above. Of course, Hashem knew what she did. However, the purpose of asking Chava was to allow her to confess. He states…
כי בזה היתה ארוכה למחלתה
This will give her healing for the spiritual illness she was dealing with because of what she did. (2)
Had Chava’s response been in reverse, I believe the guilt would have been diminished. Meaning if she would have said, “I ate, but it was the snake that made me eat,” it would not really have been a strong admission of her guilt. People should provide a reason and then conclude that even with all the rationale possible, they still made a mistake. Adam HaRishon gives the same type of response by first shifting blame to Chava and then ultimately taking responsibility. Interestingly, the only one of the trio (Adam, Chava, Snake) who was not asked for a defense, was the snake. The snake was just given his punishment without Hashem having to ask the question of ‘what were you thinking’? This is because the snake is not capable of guilt and admitting guilt. In fact, he has never learned this lesson as the snake, representative of the Satan or the Yetzer Hara, continues to try to trick us to this day.
The Shem Mishmuel gives us a little more insight into the snake and his intentions. The snake, as he twists and twirls, also has a twisted sense of logic (my words). The snake is all about instant gratification, not logic. Consider this. It makes very little sense that merely touching a tree and not getting punished will have the very same effect as eating from the tree as Hashem commanded the first couple NOT to do. But the snake does not work with logic. He works as a con artist who uses our Yetzer Harah to work its magic. So, he says to Chava, “You touched it, and nothing happened. So why not just eat the delicious apple?” Chava fell for it and by doing so, taught us life lessons. When things don’t make sense and worse, when you are under the influence of a drug or a person, it is not a good time to make decisions.
I once heard Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski say the following (forgive me if they are not his exact words). “There are three types of logic. There is the logic of normal people which goes as follows. This is a shirt. The shirt is white. Therefore, it is a white shirt. Then, you have the logic of one with schizophrenia. I am a man. Socrates was a man. Therefore, I am Socrates. Finally, you have the logic of an alcoholic. I am a man. Socrates was a man. Therefore, give me another drink.”
Chava was under the influence, so to speak of a cunning snake who did not have to employ logic to convince Chava to do the wrong thing. All he needed to do was play on her disinhibitions and bring the Yetzer Hara into the picture.
We, as thinking rational people, need to be more deliberate at times when it comes to big decisions that have enormous consequences. When we do make mistakes, we must admit to them. Rationalize first but in the end, admit your wrongdoing. This is what the Torah is trying to teach us.
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(1) Bereishis 3:13
(2) Ohr Hachaim on 3:13