Parshas Ki Seitzei-Chinese Food and Long Life
Parshas Ki Seitzei-Chinese Food and Long Life
Torah Psych101
Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson
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In the Torah we have two Mitzvos that both guarantee us long life. The Mitzvah of honoring our parents and in our Parsha this week, the mitzvah of sending away the mother bird. How are these two Mitzvos connected?
Rav Yaakov Weinberg suggests that they are connected because both involve Mesiras Nefesh. Honoring one’s parents is considered one of the most difficult of the Mitzvos because the human psyche goes into rationalization mode. Why should I honor my parents? What have they really done for me? Humans get caught up in the emotional aspect of the Mitzvah which is why the Midrash tells it is the hardest of all the Mitzvos while Shiluach Haken is the easiest of all the Mitzvos. The Shemen Hatov suggests that by showing mercy to the bird and creations in general we are likely to show mercy towards our fellow man. Showing mercy towards our fellow man seems like an easy thing to do. I want to suggest another idea which I have noticed in my years of practicing as a psychologist. As we grow and develop emotions both positive and negative emotions, showing mercy towards humans becomes more difficult. Why is it that children tend to be merciful towards everyone-both human and animal?
I will just note that it is always concerning when children are cruel to animals and is one of the early sins of antisocial tendencies. If you do see children acting cruelly towards animals, I would contact a competent therapist immediately.
Children are naturally empathic because they have not developed strong enough positive and negative emotions. What is wrong with developing strong positive emotions towards people? Often our emotions are with good intent but they tend to alienate others. By being merciful towards one race or population, we exclude other populations. We are seeing this play out in society today where we are told to believe that certain one race should be shown more mercy than another race. We are essentially placing all of our eggs in one basket, pun intended. For example, I have seen time and time again people taking up the cause for others that have nothing to do with them other than that basic human component of mercy.
I remember a Purim where our family theme was an Oriental theme. We went to a Chinese restaurant where we have gone for years and have become friendly with the owner. My two younger daughters were in their Oriental costumes as we went to pick up our food. The owner, after seeing the girls came over two us, smiling from ear to ear and complimented the girls on how beautiful they looked. She asked if she could have a picture with the girls. The girls and the owner are pictured with a big smile.
A woman who was also picking up food, came over to me with an angry expression on her face and said that what I did by having my girls dress up in Chinese costumes was offensive to the owner. The owner did not say that but this woman decided to become offended on behalf of the non-offended owner. I am sure this angry customer had good intent although she did not understand the context at all nor did she notice that the owner came over to request a picture with my girls. I did not respond as the angry customer continue to berate me in front of my girls because there was no use in doing so.
Honoring one’s parents and sending away the mother bird give us long life because both Mitzvos temper our emotions and in due time provide us with an understanding of what our parents have given us. They were Moser Nefesh for us. When we understand this, we become merciful to all.