Parshas Zos Habracha-The Passing of the Torch from Moshe to Yehoshua
Parshas Zos Haberacha-Moshe’s Death: Softening the Blow
Torah Psych101
Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson
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We are at the end of ספר דברים. We have been discussing Moshe’s impending death for the past few Parshiyos. Now, his end has come as the leader of כלל ישראל. It is time to pass over the baton to יהושע. Moshe was the greatest leader of all time and beloved by the Jewish people. Yet, when we contrast the death of Moshe’s brother Aharon to Moshe’s, we see a startling difference. When Aharon dies, it says that כל בית ישראל, all of the house of ישראל cried, yet when Moshe dies, the Torah leaves out the word כל (1) Why is this the case?
The אור החיים הקדוש suggests a psychological theory that when Aharon died, the Jewish people were not prepared. It just says that Moshe did not come down with Aharon from the mountain. People still believed that Aharon was possibly alive. When they found out that he had, in fact died, they were all shocked by the unexpected news. This is why they all cried. Moshe, on the other hand had given ample warning about his impending death so בני ישראל had mentally prepared themselves for this and it softened the blow.
Many times in life we try to soften the blow of impending bad news. We even prepare for something that may not happen. In order to soften the blow, we mentally prepare ourselves for that possible negative event. For example, you are taking a test in college. It is supposed to be a pretty difficult test. After you take the test, you don’t immediately know how well you did. So you go around telling everyone that you failed the test. This way, if you do in fact fail, you have softened the blow. If you did well on the test, it would be a pleasant surprise.
Sports journalist Matt Fitzgerald discusses this idea that expecting to feel bad during a race will actually enhance future performance rather than decrease performance (2). He reasons that people who are thinking too positively about their abilities suffer a greater degree of letdown as opposed to those who set up the possibility that things will be challenging. However, if you take a more positive approach that “it won’t be that bad,” and in fact, it does turn out bad, you are more likely to feel despondent and quit early.
I have heard both sides of this argument and I somewhat agree with Mr. Fitzgerald when it comes to sports performance, no team or individual will win all games. People become slightly depressed when their team loses. They don’t mentally prepare for their team to lose; therefore, they become down. When it comes to the performance of others, especially in leadership roles, we are equally let down when our leaders fail or pass away, due to the lack of mental preparedness.
When Moshe Rabbeinu passes away, Bnei Yisroel were sad but not all of Bnei Yisroel, because many had mentally prepared for this event, as if to soften the blow.
As we go through life, it is a good idea to prepare for less optimal outcomes while maintaining a general positive attitude by saying, “I hope it goes well” and leaving it at that. That is what we verbalize. What we should mentally prepare for is the possibility that life’s challenges might not necessarily allow for the outcome that we hope for. This in no way should make us pessimistic about the future. It is simply a method to adjust our thinking so we can prepare for a transfer of power or a possible leadership letdown.
Moshe transfers power to Yehoshua which gave Bnei Yisroel a sense of hope for the future. What we should be doing with our own children is to give them hope for the future, concurrent with providing them with the tools to confront the challenges and deal with disappointments as they come up. This is good Chinuch that we should all use with our children and students.
Have a good Shabbos!
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(1) Devarim 34:8
(2) https://further.net/worst-case-scenario/