Rosh Hashan 5782-TRY SOMETHING NEW!!!

Rosh Hashana 5782-Try Something New!!!

Torah Psych101

Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson

Preparing for ראש השנה can seem like a daunting task for many. Subconscious thoughts are brought to our conscious awareness as we reflect, contemplate and make promises to ourselves about what we need to do, in order to improve both our relationships with others and with ourselves. As we go through this process we try to think realistically about what we can possibly do to change. Change is difficult. Socrates once said “the secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

I was having a conversation with a family member yesterday who stated that she was so excited that she recently had tried something new. She was so proud of herself. Trying new things is central to the theme of ראש השנה. We have the סימנים (new foods) that we try on ראש השנה as a symbolic way of trying something new. As a therapist, I am always trying to get people to try new things so I know how good it feels.

I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts related to this idea of trying something new.

Wishing our friends and community a sweet new year is something that is reserved for this time of the year. We don’t wish people a sweet new Shabbos. There is a reason for this. That is because we are preparing for a whole new year, which takes far more preparation than Shabbos. It is physical and spiritual preparation.

Part of the sweetness is obviously using honey and lots of it, as part of our food preparation. We are told that we should use bee honey and not any other honey such as date honey. The Torah when talking about honey, actually refers to date honey. So why do we specifically use bee honey on ראש השנה?

Rav Yisroel Meir Druck offers the following insight. Date honey is automatically sweet. Even from its beginning stages. Bee honey starts off with a little ‘sting’ to it but ultimately turns sweet. The lesson is that things might start off difficult at first, for example moving to a new city or starting a new school. As we say כל התחלות קשות-all beginnings come with challenges. However, what may start out as challenging will eventually turn out to be sweet. That is just the way of the world. When we make our New Year’s commitments to change or become better, we have to realize that it may not be so easy at first and we might even feel a little sting at the beginning but if we stick with it and put in the work as bees are known to do with their tremendous work ethic, the sweetness will come later.

We also wish people a שנה טובה ומתוקה-A good and sweet new year. Why do we say good and sweet? If it is good, we would think that it will be sweet and vice versa? The idea should be that we should go into the year with blind faith. When someone cannot see the food that they are eating, it is often not as sweet or tasty. What we are asking for by saying שנה טובה ומתוקה is that not only should we believe that whatever happens is good but we should feel tangibly the goodness that Hashem provides for us by using our senses and being more present.

One final thought related to honey and trying something new has to do with how change leads to wisdom. If we do the same thing every day thinking that we are right all the time, we do not become wiser as we are not open to change. Studying by ourselves without the give and take of a study partner does not make us globally smarter. This is why we should always try new ways of studying, going to a variety of Shiurim and exposing ourselves to other ways of understanding the Torah until we reach the Emes-the truth. By studying ourselves, we might know more facts, laws or concepts but without the exchange of ideas, we remain locked in our ways with more firepower that confirms what we already know. In psychology this is known as the confirmation bias. We see this on a daily basis with people who are locked into a philosophy and unable or unwilling to hear a counterpoint.

The word for honey is דבש-Devash. The חתם סופר says that דבש is an acronym for דעה, בינה and שכל. These three terms are all related to wisdom. By having honey on ראש השנה in particular, we are stating that we are open to all forms of wisdom. Perhaps the greatest form of wisdom is the development of emotional intelligence. By strengthening our emotional intelligence, we are in essence saying that we want to make serious changes. We want to be better listeners who are not stuck in our ways. Let’s all become emotional intelligent and sweeter people.

Wishing everybody a שנה טובה ומתוקה!!!