Torah Psych101: Parshas Re'eh-True Altruism: Is it possible?
Parshas Re’eh
Torah Psych101-True Altruism: Does it Exist?
Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson
Social psychology tells us that we feel good when we do good. For example, when we do something altruistic such as giving charity to someone who does not expect it or know who it is coming from, that can be seen as altruistic. That is basic psychology. But I have always been bothered by the following question. Is there such a thing as true altruism? If you think about it, altruism should mean that the giver does not get anything in return. But anyone who gives altruistically does, in fact get something in return. They get a good feeling!!! What can be better than that? I made someone’s day! I am a really good person because I didn’t brag about it!
The Gemara in תענית (1) tells over about a conversation that Rav Yochanon had with his nephew who was a young boy. Rav Yochanon asked his nephew what he learned that day and boy answered “We learned that you should give מעשר (tithes).” Rav Yochanon explained to his nephew that the meaning of these words is that if you give charity, you will become rich. The boy asked Rav Yochanon “how do we know that is true?”, to which Rav Yochanon responded “test it out.” The young boy then asked, “are we allowed to test Hashem? The Torah says (2) ‘You shall not test Hashem?” Rav Yochanon responded, “this is the one exception to that rule as there is a פסוק in מלאכי (3) that says ‘Bring the tithes to your storehouse so that there should be food in my house, and with this you may test me.’”
Harav Yochanan Zweig Shlita asks why is this מצוה of tithing different in that you’re allowed to test Hashem? Aren’t we told that we don’t serve Hashem to receive a reward (4)?
He answers based on a רש"י (5) that says that חסד in Aramaic means shame. Rav Zweig has noted that Aramaic is known to be a language that helps explain things from someone else’s viewpoint. As much as we feel good about giving people money, can you imagine how ashamed the recipient feels to have to take charity from someone else. This is a very high level to achieve as many charitable people like to make their charitable donations known to other. That is not always a bad thing because it inspires others to give. But the idea of being able to see and feel the other person’s shame is something that Hashem tells us you can test me on that one.
I would like to add to Rav Zweig’s idea and suggest the following. When a person is able to do something nice for someone but added to that he is able to feel the other person’s sense of shame, that I believe is true altruism. Additionally, I would like to suggest that when the Torah says עשר תעשר (6), the double לשון might be speaking to this idea of seeing things from another perspective. I will give this person charity because I want to restore his dignity. I know how ashamed he feels for taking this money so I hope his dignity is restored. That is an incredible מדריגה that we should all strive to be on.
(1) Taanis 9a
(2) Devarim 6:16
(3) Malachi 3:10
(4) Avos 1:3
(5) Vayikra 20:17
(6) Devarim 14:22