An Aha! Moment (Parshas Acharei Mos)

Similar to the eureka effect, an “Aha! Moment” refers to the common human experience of suddenly understanding a previously incomprehensible problem or concept. It happens to all of us once in a while.

For years, the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos (5:21) which says, בן שמונה עשרה לחופה (a man at the age of 18 should enter the bridal canopy, i.e., get married) bothered me. After all, when a boy is only 18, he is almost at the peak of his adolescence. From a mere logical perspective, it would seem that an 18-year-old is way too young to get married. What does the Mishnah mean?

My understanding of this Mishnah changed dramatically, when, during one Chuppah ceremony, I noticed something interesting about the Chosson. Standing under the Chuppah, he made no eye-contact with the crowd nor did he make any eye-contact with his soon-to-be wife. In fact, his eyes were completely shut, and his mouth was muttering things. He was clearly deep in prayer. Turns out, a rumor had begun to spread, claiming that this Chosson had forgotten to pray Minchah earlier, so he was catching up quickly under the Chuppah!

Aha! It hit me like a ton of bricks. This is the explanation of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos: בן שמונה עשרה לחופה – a man should pray the Shemona Esrei by his Chuppah! It now made so much sense.

Alright, let’s be honest, this story never actually happened and this can’t actually be the meaning of that Mishnah in Pirkei Avos.

On the topic of marriage, though, it is interesting that Chazal compare Matan Torah to that of a chuppah between the Jewish people and Hashem. And interestingly, if the day of Matan Torah is likened to a Chuppah, then the days leading up to Matan Torah – the days of Sefiras Haomer – can be likened to the bride and groom walking down the aisle to get to the Chuppah.

You can’t just magically portal and arrive under the Chuppah of Har Sinai. Like every other bride and groom, you have to walk along the aisle first before you can get to the Chuppah. Each step forward is another step closer to that ultimate day of excitement and connection.

In Parshas Acharei Mos (17:11), the Torah discusses the law of not consuming the blood of an animal since “the life of the flesh is in the blood.” Rabbeinu Bachya says something profound: ואין ראוי לנו לערב הנפש הנכרתת בנפש הקיימת – Life-forces destined for destruction, such as the animal to be slaughtered, should not be mixed with life-forces meant to remain alive.

My friends, in the realm of our service of Hashem, the lesson from here is that we are meant to always be growth oriented and connected to life. This is the journey of Sefiras Haomer. We are walking along the aisle to be able to reach the Chuppah of Matan Torah, for we are a life force that is meant to remain alive. Ki Heim Chayeinu…