Parshas Vayeitzei- True Intentions
After receiving the blessings and angering Esav, Yaakov is commanded by his parents to travel to Charan and find a wife from Rivka’s family. At the time, Yaakov is 63 years old. Rashi (28:9, based on Gemara Megillah 16b-17a) explains that Yaakov proceeds to learn intensely in the Yeshiva of Eiver for 14 years. Parshas Vayeitzei opens, after these years of Torah study. At the age of 77, Yaakov travels to Charan to fulfill his parents’ wishes, and get married. Yaakov approaches Lavan in order to marry his daughter, Rachel. Lavan agrees on condition that Yaakov will work for him for seven years. When the years are completed, Yaakov is duped into marrying Leah. When he complains, Lavan dismisses him, and says that the custom in Charan is to marry off the older daughter before the younger one. They strike a second agreement. Yaakov can marry Rachel after the Sheva Berachos, on condition to work for Lavan for another seven years. At the conclusion of the 14 years, Yaakov is 91. He then works an additional six years, in order to provide sustenance for his large family (Rashi 30:30). Over the next two years he travels back to Eretz Canaan, arriving at the age of 99.
Parshas Vayeishev discusses the events of the selling of Yosef. After he is sold, Yaakov mourns for many years (37:34). Yosef is sold at the age of 17. He is reunited with Yaakov at the age of 39. It emerges that they were separated for a total of 22 years. Rashi explains that this was a “measure for measure” punishment for Yaakov Avinu. He did not fulfill kibud av v’em for 22 years, when in Charan and traveling. He therefore suffers with the departure of Yosef for the same amount of time.
The Gemara (Megilla 16b) explains that the 14 years he studied Torah are not taken into account. Talmud Torah supersedes the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents. He was thus not punished for those years. However, the years he was working for marriage, sustenance, and traveling, are legitimate cause for retribution. These total 22 years.
At face value, this punishment seems unfair. Yaakov’s parents commanded him to travel to Charan to get married. Why is he held accountable for not honoring them, if he was actively fulfilling their decree?
Yissachar and Zevulun are the fifth and sixth children of Leah (30:17-20). Rashi (Vayechi 49:13, Zos Haberacha 33:18) explains that these two tribes had a unique relationship. Zevulun produced successful merchants. The people of Yissachar would study and teach Torah, famous for their mastery over the technical details of the formulation of the Jewish calendar. They formed an alliance in which Zevulun would support Yissachar, and they would share in the reward of the Torah study.
This would appear to be a simple way of achieving reward in the next world. How can we understand this idea of supporting someone and earning half of the reward for their Torah learning?
In Sefer Shoftim, the pesukim discuss the story of Shimshon. The Plishtim were a constant source of persecution and suffering for the Jewish people. Shimshon was tasked by Hashem to protect the Jews. On the orders of Hashem, he devised a plan. He would attempt to create the façade of being upset at the Plishtim, based on a personal injustice they performed against him. This would allow him to exact retribution, without it being considered as an act on behalf of the Jews. Thus, they wouldn’t have a fair claim to retaliate against the Jewish populous.
The verses illustrate (ch. 14) how Shimshon wanted to marry a Plishti woman from the city of Timnah, with this intention in mind. He tells his parents to arrange the marriage. They respond that it would be more appropriate to marry a Jew. He retorts that “she is fitting in my eyes” (14:3).
The Mishna (Sotah 9b) teaches that due to Shimshon following his eyes in this inappropriate way, he was punished. The Plishtim eventually caught him and remove his eyes. The Gemara finds this difficult. Shimshon was acting on the word of Hashem. Why is this cause for retribution? The Gemara answers that although this was done with Hashem’s command, he nonetheless followed his own intention in marrying the woman. He was doing the right thing with personal interest and motive. This translated into cause for punishment.
In a similar vein, the Ben Yehoyada explains (Megilla 17a) that Yaakov was indeed following his parents’ wishes to get married. However, the six years he worked afterwards had serious implications about the first fourteen. In delaying his return despite being married, he indicated that kibud av v’em was not his top priority. This allowed the Satan to argue that during the earlier years he was also lacking in this mitzvah. This created a genuine allegation against Yaakov. Perhaps, even if Lavan would have allowed him to marry and return immediately, he would not have taken the opportunity. Thus, he was punished for the full 22 years that he was lacking in his focus on the mitzvah of honoring his parents.
One who works to produce a significant income is certainly doing something of importance. If he supports others who are involved in Torah study, he can legitimately claim half the reward. However, this would be contingent on his own seriousness about Torah study. If he genuinely values Torah learning, and is simply unable to be actively involved for lengthy periods, it is logical that his support would generate a fair payback. If he does not value Torah study, it would be difficult to imagine that he would be able to fairly claim half the reward of those whom he supports. The litmus test would be if he sets aside some time to learn Torah. Even if it is only a few minutes a day, this would indicate where his focus lies. Thus, despite being unable to participate in studying Torah for longer stretches, he could have a fair claim to half of the reward of those whom he supports.
A special Jew shared with me a certain frustration that he is experiencing. Due to extenuating circumstances, he is unable to daven with a minyan, as he has always done. He voiced genuine and unadulterated sadness about this. There is no doubt that when Hashem sees this Jew’s stress about missing minyan, that He has the greatest nachas. Hashem sees man’s true intentions and feelings. May we all merit to deeply desire to serve Hashem!
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