The Cup is Half Full
[Editor’s note: As a memory of my beloved brother Shaya, I would like to continue sending out his pearls of wisdom that he has shared with all of you in the past. For some of you this may ring a bell and for others it may appear to be totally new. May the learning of Shaya’s Divrei Torah inspire us to change our ways and thereby give an Aliya to the neshama of our dear beloved Shaya whom we miss so much. A special thank you to Aaron Friedman for always looking over the divrei torah.]
This Shabbos is Tu B’av, a day the Mishna says is as festive and joyous as Yom Kippur.
What is so special about Tu B’av? The Medrash Eicha tells us that there were six things that occurred on Tu B’av that provide the basis for joy.
1. Every year after accepting the slanderous report of the spies, the Jews in the Midbar would dig graves on Tisha B’av night and sleep in them. Each year, approximately fifteen thousand of them would die. In the last year, all the remaining fifteen thousand awoke the next morning. They assumed that they had mistakenly dug the graves too early in the month. So the next few nights, they kept sleeping in the graves. Finally on Tu B’av, when they saw the full moon and realized it was certainly not the ninth of Av, they understood that the punishment was over. That was a cause for celebration on Tu B’av.
2. The Shevet of Binyamin was allowed back into Klal Yisroel and was able to marry into the other Shevatim again [after the story of the Concubine of Givah, see Shoftim chapter 19].
3. Similarly, daughters who had inherited from their fathers were allowed to marry into other Shevatim, after a period of time when that was forbidden.
4. King Yeravam's idols were removed by King Hosheia, ending a long period of time where there were many Avoda Zaros [Idols] throughout Eretz Yisroel.
5. The wood for the Beis Hamikdash needed to be collected during the summer before it became cold, as afterwards there could be worms inside. Tu B’av was the last day when they could still gather the wood, and Divine Providence had it that they always finished their quota on Tu B’av.
6. Years after the horrific destruction of Beitar, the Romans finally allowed the dead people of Beitar to be buried, and there was an open miracle that none of the bodies had decomposed.
Rav Yitzchak Breitowitz fascinatingly observes that Tu B’av is the seventh day counting from Tisha B’av. He explains that we are now completing ‘Shivah’ and moving on in life. Terrible things happened on Tisha B’av and we must never forget them, but now after mourning for them we must get up, move on, and rebuild.
He brilliantly suggests that the six Simchos of Tu B’av parallel the five tragedies of Tisha B’av.
The first tragedy was the decree that the generation of the Midbar would die prior to the nation going into Eretz Yisroel. That was undone in the fortieth year when the last fifteen thousand people were spared that decree.
The second tragedy was that the first Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. We know it was destroyed because of the three cardinal sins. And it is Avoda Zara, having another deity, which causes one to commit the other two cardinal sins. This vibe was symbolically undone by the removal of the Avoda Zaros on Tu B’av by King Hosheia.
The third tragedy was that the second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. We know that baseless hatred was the root of the sin that caused the destruction. It was undone by Binyamin being welcomed back into Klal Yisroel to be allowed to marry into the other Shevatim again, and the women who had inherited land from their fathers being allowed to marry into the other Shevatim as well.
The fourth tragedy was the horrific killing of hundreds of thousands in Beitar, the last bastion of hope during the revolt of Bar Kochva. This tragedy was undone when they were allowed to be buried and the fact that they didn’t rot, which showed that Hashem still cared for Klal Yisroel.
The last tragedy was that the city of Yerushalayim was plowed over with salt and sulfur after the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash, which destroyed a lot of the fertility of the land. Although the city was destroyed, the fact that they still were always able to get enough wood for the Korbanos in the 2nd Beis Hamikdash showed them that Hashem provides for them whatever they need.
Now on Tu B’av we are ‘getting up from shiva’. Tisha B’av is about mourning the tragedy and the loss. Tu B’av is about recognizing that Hashem gives us the strength to overcome our challenges. We take with us the memory of the churbanos but we go on, rebuild, and rise up from the ashes.
In fact, some derive this lesson from the esoteric concept that is brought down in the Medrash that Hashem built other worlds and destroyed them before building our world. Why do we need to know that? The lesson that Hashem is teaching us is that even if your world is destroyed, you must get up and rebuild another one just as He did!
Where do we see this concept more than in our times after the Churban of Europe? Klal Yisroel was dealt a massive blow from Nazi Germany. Six million of our ancestors and brethren were wiped out.
But the Gedolim and Askanim who came over before, during, and after the war did not just break down and mourn. They slowly but surely rebuilt day schools, Yeshivos, Seminaries….
What greater Nechama [comfort] can there be for a holocaust survivor-and for all of us as a nation-than to just walk through the streets of so many cities here in America and in Eretz Yisroel and see Torah life thriving and flourishing.
‘Nachamu Nachamu Ami Yomar Elokaychem.' As we begin the seven weeks of Nechama, let us remind ourselves that although at times we are dealt difficult blows and challenges, there is always the silver lining that shows Hashem is still there rooting for us to rebuild our ‘worlds’ and grow closer to him.
May we all continue to rebuild after every downfall and challenge until our rebuilding is complete, and then even Tisha B'av will turn into a Yom Tov. May that day come very soon.
{Editor's note: The Gemara in Brachas says that the fourth bracha of Bentching- Hatov Umeitiv- was instituted for those who were murdered in Beitar to allow their bodies to be buried. There is a famous question that is asked on this: How could Chazal institute a bracha and especially a bracha that everything is good and amazing on this? This is what we are making a bracha on?!
Picture the scene, it is many years after the destruction of Beitar and the Jews are finally allowed back into the city. They walk into what was once a beautiful city with thousands of people, beautiful buildings and homes, and now it is all plowed over. All that remains is dirt and mud all around. The Jews walk in and they stop short. There are thousands upon thousands of people who were murdered by the Romans and now their bodies are laying there on the ground. THAT IS CAUSE FOR REJOICING!!??!! THAT SHOULD BE CAUSE OF MOURNING! Why did Chazal institute a bracha on this? And of all brachas, a bracha that everything is good and perfect!?
That is exactly the point that Chazal are teaching us. This is cause for rejoicing. The Yidden could have had to wait even longer to bury the people of Beitar. It could be that when they were allowed in, they would have found the bodies decomposed or eaten up by animals.
It is our obligation to always find the good in every situation. We could always look at a cup as if it is half full or half empty. We can always find something negative in everything. Yet Chazal are saying that is not the way to live a life. If we always look at the cup as if it is half empty, we will constantly be sad, upset, or angry. We have to learn to train ourselves to find the good in everything in life. It is not easy but that is one of our jobs in this world. One way a person can train himself is by focusing every day on one good thing that Hashem does for us.
I read a story recently in one of the Living Emunah series where the author brings a story of a woman who took it upon herself to thank Hashem every day for one thing every time she says Modim in Shemoneh Esrei and she has been doing it for a number of years and has never repeated the same thank you.
Another way one can learn to be more positive is to look at the situation and to say it could have been a lot worse. While that can definitely be a vehicle to achieve happiness and serenity in this world, the ideal would be for a person to have something happen to himself and for him to have that trust in Hashem that that is the very best thing for him. That idea, though, can take years of work; years of being grateful to Hashem and appreciating all the many things that Hashem does for us.
As I reflect on this past year and the many challenges that Hashem sent our way via Covid19, I reflect on a lot of good things that occurred as well. I developed a greater connection to my family through being in quarantine together. I learnt to appreciate the air we breathe without a mask, what a smile means to a person, comradeship, what it means to come to a person's simcha. I've learnt what a hug/handshake or just a simple smile unmasked can do to a person. I reflect and am grateful to Hashem for all the money and food that Hashem has given us always and especially this year with all the stimulus checks and food boxes! The list goes on and on...
May we all use this Shabbos, Tu B'av, to get up from our own personal 'Shivahs' and grow from the challenges that Hashem sends our way and may we be zoche to ultimately greet Moshiach very soon!}
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